Hamilton Ontario Cadets   The Great Book of Cadet Excuses

WELCOME TO THE GREAT BOOK OF CADET EXCUSES. At the corps we have been recording the best of the best excuses given to us by the cadets for why they are late, have no uniform, etc…. To brighten your day we are sharing these wonderful tidbits with you. If you have a great excuse you want to have added to our page just e-mail it to us at:

2814hsb@cogeco.net

New Additions:

SIR: "I can't wear my uniform, I locked it in my bedroom with the key so I can't get in." '03

The Canadian Forces is the only organization who will revise a form into a book and then instruct you to print it and then reproduce it locally." Capt Butson '93

SIR: "I can't make it to cadets today because I have to be a ball boy" Cdt Smith '91

SIR: "I'm late for Saturday training because I got up at 4:30am to go and find out if I had to work today, there I had an argument and then waited until 11:30am for a ride. After that I went home and got my parents car and I came straight down." Cdt Bajus '91

SIR: "I could not make it down today because my mom is away and I have to watch the house and answer the phone." Cdt Bajus '91

SIR: "If you don't want to go to the abseil exercise then why don't we cancel it?" Anonymous Staff '91

SIR: "Did you know the flag in the House of Commons is so a sniper can sight in on the Prime Minister." Cdt Maracle '92 (wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the House of Commons at the time)

SIR: "I woke up on time but I was shining my boots and lost track of time." OCdt Curzi '92

SIR: "When I stopped to give first aid on the orienteering course my sheet of bearings blew away so we couldn't finish the course." Sgt Healy '92

SIR: Day 1 "When my father went to Florida my beret was in his trunk, when he came back my beret had disappeared, can I have another one?" Day 2 "I put my beret down on a table during lunch and turned my back for a second and when I turned back it was gone, can I have another one?" Cdt Lounsbury '92

SIR: "I can't attend the Annual Inspection because my uniform isn't ready. I was working on sewing on the badges all day and I am still not done." Cpl Ticchiarelli '92

SIR: "I'm sorry I'm late for class, I had to wash my canoe paddle because it had water on it." Cdt Walker "92

SIR: "I couldn't wear my uniform because the cat peed on it." Cdt Scott '92

SIR: "I can't make it to Gold Star training, I have to get finger printed." Better not tell you who '92

SIR: "I can't finish the tag day because my mom said I have to buy a winter coat today, and you know what my mom is like. I also have to take three other cadets with me, we're a package deal, because they have to come to my place and get ready for a party, and we only have one shower and we have to take turns." Cpl Giammarco '92

SIR: "Sorry I'm late, my usual route was blocked by a mudslide so it took longer to get here." Sgt Hall '92

SIR: "Sorry I'm late, an episode of Star Trek I had not seen before was on so I stayed home and watched it, but I came as soon as it was over " Humm…that would be me '92

SIR: "I didn't make it to the Sunday range practice because I have a new alarm clock and don't know how to work it." MCpl Gelothier '93

SIR: (During Winter Indoc Training) "I'm sorry I'm late but I woke up this morning and my hair was frozen in the snow bank under our tent." Cdt Rhyno '93

SIR: I can't give you back your sleeping bag liner because a cadet hurt his leg and we had to use it to make bandages for a leg splint." Capt Nuttall '93

SIR: You were told in our lettergram that you had lost facilities, I quote 'in regards to para 3 of reference A, reference B was superceded by reference C (para 2)', it is quite clear!" HMCS Star '93

SIR: "My class is not complete because the cadets looked bored so I stopped training to do something more interesting." 2Lt Barker '93

SIR: "Sorry I'm late but I couldn't find the latrine. I told the cadets to clear up the brush in that area and they cleared up the path to the latrine as well." WO Clark '93

SIR: "When I came back to school from my home in Ottawa I had a HUGE bag, like overflowing, plus another bag, plus my blanket, plus my attaché case, and there were five other people in the car, so I couldn't fit my other duffle bag in the car, and that had my uniform items in it. You know, we have to have priorities!" Lt Lapointe '94

SIR: "Sorry we are late, but the ride we were on at Canada's Wonderland was stuck so we couldn't get off." Cdt Clark and Zosky '94

SIR: "Sorry we are late for patrol, but I sat on the OC's fishing pole and got one of his fish hooks stuck in my posterior. I tried to get one of the other advisors to help me get it out but he wouldn't help." MCpl Denny '94

SIR: "I can't make it to your Annual Inspection as I will be at my dog club BBQ that day." 23 SVCBN Member '95

SIR: "I can't get to my toilet paper because it is at the bottom of my rucksack", later, "I can't get to my soap because it is in the bottom of my rucksack", later, "I can't get at that because it is in the bottom of my rucksack", leading one to wonder how large the bottom of this rucksack is! CI Millar, Algonquin Park, '95

SIR: "I don't have my beret because my little brother's friends were playing with it and now it's gone." Cpl McGrath '95 (Go figure J )

SIR: "I can't make it to Gold Star Training because there is a 100 mph wind outside my house." MCpl Taylor '96

SIR: "I don't have time to be a Section Commander, could I be a Platoon 2ic instead?" MCpl Alfau '97

SIR: "Sorry the bus is late getting to the conservation area, we overshot the entrance and stopped at a nudist camp by accident thinking it was the conservation area." CWO Borges '97

SIR: When woken up at 0830 hrs the Coy 2ic was heard to say: It could not possibly be 0830 hrs, if it was 0830 hrs I would be late. Summer Camp '95

SIR: I don't have my combat cap because I was told to put it in my laundry bag so it would shrink and I don't have it back yet. Summer Camp '97

SIR: I can't get a haircut because I have a doctors note that indicates that I need a thick head of hair because I am allergic to bee stings and need the hair to keep from being stung on my head. Summer Camp '97

SIR: I'm not in training because when I went to pick up the salad tongs, to get some salad, another cadet grabbed them first and closed them with my thumb in the center, so I had to go the MIR to get it bandaged and I just got back. Summer Camp '97

SIR: I can't wear my combat cap because it is wrapped up in my sleeping bag, I wanted to keep it warm. Summer Camp '97

SIR: I was not here during the fire drill, even though I was on duty, because I turned in my combat boots, so I went up to the MIR to get a doctors note to let me wear my combats without combat boots, and when I got there the nurse would not let me leave because my feet are so bad that I have to go to the hospital. I'm only here now because the duty MIR driver drove me here. Summer Camp '97

SIR: I could not wear my uniform tonight because I thought my car might break down on the way to cadets so I had to wear grubby clothing so I could fix my car if I had to. WO Goodale '97

SIR: I can not make it in to cadets tonight because my airplane was stuck on the runway for two hours in Nova Scotia, then when I arrived back in Ontario they had lost my luggage so now I have to wait at home until they deliver my luggage. OCdt MacDonald '98

Sir:  You only told me to take the camera to the exercise, not to take any photographs with it.  CI O'Dowd ' 98

SIR:  Sorry we are late.  Our orienteering group got picked up by the MP's when we got lost in the training area.  Garrison Exercise '98

SIR:  I'm not sure how the lights and siren got turned on while I was returning your cadets to you.  The MP on the Garrison Exercise '98

SIR:  I can't make it on the garrison exercise.   I just got my four wisdom teeth taken out and I broke my toe at work on Monday.   If I was not a big tough airborne soldier I probably wouldn't have even been able to lift the phone to call you and let you know.  CWO Stratford '98

SIR:  "I think I used the back of my vehicle work ticket to write down coffee orders, now I can't find it anywhere."  Garrison Exercise '98

Sir:  When told to take the chain link fence and padlock off from around his neck:  "I can't take the chain off my neck because I lost the key to the padlock."  Pte Carey '98

Sir:  "Sorry I'm late for my business meeting.   The Ferry didn't go where it was supposed to and stopped at other places instead of going where it was supposed to."  Capt Goodfellow '98

Sir:  (AFTER Sending out the staff roaming the streets of Hamilton)  "I found your son, it seems he went where I told him to."   Capt Goodfellow '98

SIR: "Our dryer at home won't completely dry my tunic so my mom hung it by the fireplace to dry, but my dad had just finished cleaning it out and had left the vent open and a Grackle came down our chimney sending soot out of the vent all over my uniform"  Cpl Murray ' 99

SIR:  "Last week a grackle came down our chimney and got my tunic covered in soot.  I've washed it twice since then and can't get all the ash off my tunic.  I brought it in so you can see for yourself."  Cpl Murray '99

SIR:  "I can't wear my uniform because I have a sore stomach"  Cpl Neily '99

SIR:  "I had to wear my running shoes on final parade practice because the MIR told me that I have Boot Shock, which causes an electrical shock to run up my leg when I do drill" F Coy Cadet ACSTC Blackdown '99

SIR:  I forgot my gray socks because my mom thought they were a ball of lint.  Cadet McCulloch '00

SIR: "I couldn't wear my uniform because it is spread out all over my room after summer camp and when I went looking for it I couldn't find my tunic belt, my cap brass or my left boot." Cpl Murray '00

SIR: "I'm not wearing my uniform because I came to cadets in it and saw my Platoon Commander here in his civies so I went home and changed and when I got back my Platoon Commander had changed into his uniform." Cpl Fitos '00

SIR:  "I'm not in uniform because I am actually a cadet from another corps visiting for tonight" Cpl Murray '00

SIR:  "I can't be at cadets tonight because I was burn shining my boots.  Did you know that boot polish can catch fire?  Anyway, I'm at the hospital getting some burns on my face taken care of." MCpl Jenkins '00 

SIR:  "We are running late after opening parade because an elderly lady fell down in the next parking lot and we had to spring into action to help her back up."  MWO Stewart & MWO Murray '00

SIR:  "I've been really turned off of wearing uniforms and that's why I'm in my civies"  Unknown 2814 Admin O '01

Overheard while in an office in Blackdown Army Cadet Training Centre '02:

Cadet: "My buddy sent me here to ask for bolt cutters."
Officer (curious):  "Why wouldn't your buddy come here and get the bolt cutters himself?"
Cadet: "He did Sir, but when the CSM saw him she sent him away because he was wearing his civies."
Officer:  "Why was he in his civies?"
Cadet:  "Because all his issue kit is locked in his barracks box, that's why I need the bolt cutters!"

SIR:  "I am going to have to quit cadets, I am in grade 9 now and you have no idea how tough it is"  Pte Shields '02

SIR:  "I know that the alarm was not armed, they knew your cadets were coming in later so we left it off for you." Better leave this on unnamed! '03

SIR: "I went out to look for the missing cadet who was cross country skiing, but I had to come back.  The snow is so deep I had trouble making any headway so I thought I would come back and get my cross country skis."  Lt O'Dowd '03

Suggestions from our e-mail friends:

See if one of your outrageous excuses can beat ours.

SIR:  "I couldn't wear my uniform because my dog urinated on it" from Susan '93

Sgt (Yelling at her flight):  Why are you talking and looking around?!?  //  Don't!  you cadet, why are you looking at me?!
First Year Cadet:  Because you're standing right in front of me Sgt.  F/Sgt S. Wong 538 (Buffalo) RCACS Calgary, AB '02

SIR:  "When I was five I found out that I was allergic to any material that included the army or even the camp, but not to you Sir" - Hereby sentenced to the drill team.  from Unknown '02

From Unknown '02

At our weekend exercise one of the cadets in my corps was asked why he wasn't wearing his gloves while building a snowman for a picture:
Capt:  Cadet, where are your gloves?
Cadet:  MCpl Peer laid them atop the stove and melted them.
Capt:  Where is your other pair?
Cadet:  MCpl Peer is wearing them.

From Unknown

Sir:  "I know my sister and I accidentally switched uniforms, but I only noticed when someone called me ma'am" Pte Muzik

Sir: "And I only noticed when I went to the bathroom"  Cadet Muzik

Sir:  "I couldn't prepare my lesson because the globalization of the economy is so upsetting and since I am not being paid I am not very motivated to do it"  Sgt Callan '02

Sir:  "I can't make it to cadets, I have to move my waterbed" Pte Barber '02

From Shane Connell 686 RCACC, Brigtown, NS

Sir  " I can't go to the bushcraft weekend tonight, I have to go to a party" 

From 2313 SALH

Sir  "She is out-performing me 'cause she's 'Super Cadet'"  Cpl D. Kenny 'O2

Sir:  "I can't do drill because I did so much of it last week I busted my knee cap." Trp Undseth '02 (Hope they did the CF 98 on that one)

From Ayla Croot

Captain : "Cdt. Smith where is your uniform?"
Cadet:     "Sir its locked in my mothers van, and she's at night school, and I cant get it."

Sergeant:   "Why are you moving on Parade?"
Cadet:         "Because Cadet Brodure, looks stoned."
Brodure:     "I am not stoned, I am tired."
Cadet:       "Same Diff."

Cadet :    "Sgt, I am cold can I go inside?"
Sgt:        "Do I look like I care if you are cold?  I am cold too!  Suck it up butter cup!"
Pvt :        (whispers to cadet) "Psst, go up and give her a hug, and call her Sgt. Fluffy."
-- (Cadet falls out of the parade) --
Sgt:        "What the heck are you doing?"
Cadet:     "Can I have a hug Sgt. Fluffy?"
(Lets just say that was last time that happened.)

Cadet :   "Sergeant, I lost my boots....and my pants, at my boyfriends house, and my CF Green, And I think I lost my tunic, and by the look on your face, I think I lost any chance of a recommendation for a promotion, or any chance of going to camp... Am I at least right???

From Toni Vecchiola

During summer camp a cadet was questioned about a certain event, he replied, "it wasn't me sir, I was in my tent shining my boots and reading my drill manual"

SIR:  "I am allergic to my uniform and get rashes from wearing it." Anonymous Sender '01

SIR: "My pants are poorly ironed because my girlfriends father did them for me." Sgt Vincent '00 (on NCO Refresher Course) 2806 RCACC

From New-Brunswick,

These excuses are from the same cadet, the same night, to the same officer.....

SIR:  "I didn't wear my uniform tonight because I didn't go home after school, I did go to my friends house."......later....... SIR:   "I'm not wearing my uniform tonight because I am maybe quitting but still going to camp this summer."

SIR:  "I couldn't wear my uniform tonight because my dog puked on it (Note: this cadet does not have any pets)."

SIR:  "Well, I don't have the permission slip right now, but can I give it to you when we get back from the exercise?"

SIR:  "I'm not wearing my boots because my Great Dane ate them, he ate my sisters too."  (This really did happen we kept the boots as proof.)

From:  tagdell

SIR:  "I didn't wear my uniform tonight because my mom put it in the dryer and my cat was sleeping in the dryer."  From CWO B Casey -2553 Oxford

 SIR: "Sorry I am late, I was at basketball practice" and "Sorry I don't have my uniform, I just got back from basketball practice." from kbrands@telusplanet.net

This chit was so original it was is framed and hung in Combat Information Center on USS CROMMELIN (FFG-37). "Respectfully request Special Liberty on Friday so I can pick up my one-armed Grandmother at the airport; She has two bags." from Carroll.Edward@HQ.NAVY.MIL

This incident is difficult to believe but it actually happened this past year. The cadet referred to is the type of cadet that one finds hard to get angry with because he really does try harder than most cadets. (I'm pleased to say that he has it more together this year.)

Week one: "I can't wear my uniform tonight Sir, because we're moving and it's packed."

Week Two: "Sir, I didn't wear my uniform tonight because it's still packed and I can't find the box yet."

Week Three: " Sir, the box I thought it was in turned out to be the wrong box."

Week four: " Sir, I found 'most' of my uniform Sir, but I don't know where the rest of it is."

Subsequently the missing pieces are replaced.

The following October the same cadet phones and informs the officer that he is returning parts of a uniform that were found at his grandparents house. When asked how it got there he replied " I don't know Sir, it was found in a box!"

2Lt Johnson
2313 SALH RCACC (Kiwanis) Medicine Hat, AB

Ma'am, I can't wear my beret, as my dog ate it.

Ma'am I can't wear my uniform as no one told me what to wear tonight.

These excuses were from the same cadet 2 weeks apart.
From OCdt Aseltine
2645 LER - 2nd Platoon Neutral Hills

SIR: "Sorry I couldn't make it to Saturday's Annual practice, I was watching cartoons." Gnr. K. Walker '98

SIR:  "I can't make it to cadets today because I am watching Party of Five on TV"  MBdr Charron (2865 RCACC) '99

From Gnr C. Reid
2865 RC(Army)CC, Hamilton

SIR: "I wasn't at cadets on Friday because no one told me I was supposed to be there" (Note:  Friday is this corps parade night) Unknown Cadet from 2313 SALH RCACC '99

SIR:  "What do you mean he isn't at cadets?"   Cdt Tonin's Mother '99

SIR:  "I can't make it to cadets tonight, I'm in jail."  Cpl Icanttellyou '99

SIR:  "I can't wear my uniform, it's against my religion."  Anonymous Humorous Person '98

from Sgt Douglas, M
2313 SALH RCACC

SIR:  "I didn't wear my uniform because I am sick and I don't want to sneeze on it"  MCpl Jackson (2943 PPCLI)

SIR:  "I didn't shave tonight because I was hit by a semi before I came to cadets"  Unknown 2943 PPCLI cadet

SIR:  "I brought you my dollar to pay of my debt for the canteen but I forgot to bring it tonight" CWO King (2943 PPCLI)

from CWO Kris King
2943 PPCLI RCACC

SIR: (After arriving over two hours late with the supplies for the cadets to put up their camp on the garrison exercise) "Sorry I'm late, I was following the school bus to the exercise...but it wasn't our school bus."  Lt B. Blair from 62 RHLI RCACC '99

SIR: "I didn't make it last week cause I had nippelitus."  Pte Agustus 2741 RCACC

From Former Cadet Corporal Warwick 2296 RCACC

Corporal: " I didn't wear my uniform because I set it afire removing the threads." (Cadet Alexander)

Corporal: "I did not attend the troop exercise because my squad leader needed help moving furniture that day" (Recruit Kish)

Corporal: "I did not participate in tactical training because I was watching Rambo." (Unnamed recruit)

SIR:  "I can't get off the bus because I have a headache because my boots are too tight."  Cpl Frank 2901 PPCLI, Estevan, Sask

SIR:  "I can't wear my gumbie gear because I have an allergy to cold weather" Cdt Gallant B Coy '01

From Andrea Popejoy of 2310 RCACC:

SIR:  "I didn't wear my uniform tonight because I spilt WD-40 on it trying to light the woodstove before I left, and a spark floated up and my uniform caught fire"  

SIR:  "I was late for cadets tonight because on the way here a tire on the car went flat, and we used the spare tire in the trunk to fix it, then we were just around the corner when another went.  That's why I'm late"

SIR:  "Some one robbed my house and all they took was my uniform."

Sgt Maj Fraley "Private Long drop"
Pte Long "Why Sergeant Major?"
Sgt Maj Fraley "Don't back talk me."
Pte Long "I can not drop, I am sick today"
Sgt Maj Fraley "What's wrong with you private"
Pte Long "My boyfriend broke up with me"

Stacy12486@aol.com

Sergeant Major: PFC Stanley, Where is your cover?      
PFC Stanley: In my pocket Sergeant Major.
Sergeant Major: Why isn't it on your head?
PFC Stanley: Because I can't get my head in my pocket, Sergeant Major.

From James Stanley

from 2313 SALH RCACC

after being told that they must never come to cadets in civies here is what one cadet thought this meant

week 1 :  my whole dress uniform is at the dry cleaners so I couldn't wear my uniform ( the dress for the night was combats)

week 2 :  my mom didn't have time to iron it so I couldn't wear it

week 3 :  I lost my beret so I did not think I should wear the rest of it

week 4 :  well I didn't get a phone call but then I did and they said to come in full dress uniform but then someone else told me to come in combats and I was so confused I came in civies.   2313  SALH  2001-2002

Sir: Sorry my uniform looks like this Sir, I forgot to plug in the iron.

Sir: Last week after cadets, I threw my uniform in the bottom of my closet, and then I had band practice, then I had my friends over then school then one day at band camp, that's why my uniform looks this way.

From Capt R. Chamberlain 2850 Grande Prairie CC

SIR:  "I can't make it to cadets tonight, I have to spend the night getting my uniform ready for next week." Sent in by Sgt Law 2784 GGFG (Ottawa) '02

RSM: Why do you have Red Eyeliner on? There is no makeup to be worn!

Cadet: I need it, it's medicine for my eyes.

RSM: What's wrong with your eyes?

Cadet: I have Pink-Eye infection.

 ((wonder if it was the infection or the makeup.))

From Donna Merritt 2051 RCACC '03

SIR: Alright cadets, take down your arctic tents, we're moving to a new biv site.

Sgt Lam: Aww, that's complete sh*t

SIR: What was that you just said Lam!?

Sgt Lam: Severe. High. Intensive. Training SIR!

 From Anthony Lam  '03

REMEMBER: Add your great cadet excuses by e-mailing us at:

cadets@mountaincable.net